As the Clock Tics...

When life deals you a challenge you have to make it a positive, learning experience. Unemployment in a stagnant economy can be very frustrating. Searching for jobs that just aren't there. Watching businesses close, employed friends working long, stressful hours to cover the jobs cut from their workplace, and politicians living like kings showing they know how to make proclamations, but not jobs. There is so much to push us into a deep, self eroding depression. But as we travel through this difficult time we must realize that the clock is ticking on our life. It's not a stopwatch that can be paused for time to re-adjust. As the minutes, hours and days pass, we need watch the clock and continue our journey.

While I must admit I do suffer bouts of depression and frustration, I also experience a great deal of growth and inspiration. Tightening the budget of the unemployment check has helped me to sharpen my creative shopping, meal planning and entertaining skills. I don't have the excuse of too many hours at work to stop me from doing volunteer work, attend mass and use the gifts God gave me to inspire and encourage others.

As I search for employment I am guided by the job I do today. I am always on the clock. My boss is very hands on and is always there if I need help. He is forgiving when I slack off and appreciative when I give that extra effort. And I offer myself for those added difficult projects. Though I don't receive a weekly paycheck for this 24/7 career position, I do receive full benefits of spiritual growth and nurturing and a afterlife pension of eternal peace and happiness. It's a long term commitment and investment.

When God Hands Me His Paintbrush

After witnessing the beauty of raindrops on turning leaves. Having watched as a dramatic cluster of cold, grey clouds gave way to cracks of bright orange evening sunbeams. I viewed the art of God's imagination with the usual awe. Later, when I have exhausted my energy and pulled up the blanket, and my head slowly sinks into my pillow, I drift off to God's studio where He hands me His paintbrush.

As my pulse beats slow and steady and my body goes into temporary shut down, I take God's paintbrush and create from what I know. People, memories, and my imagination converge on my nighttime canvas. With a stroke of the brush I display my fears and anxieties. I add details of humor and irony to give a more pleasant nature. Colors swirl to create a mix of reality and fantasy. Places are represented by the emotion I recall, not by the reality of their layout or location. Furiously I paint. Until God sees a finished masterpiece.

As morning breaks I hand back the paintbrush. If I am satisfied with my creation, it is framed and hung in my waking memory. If I am not, it is quickly painted over in a whitewash and left on the easel for another session. I can't help but wonder if my afterlife will begin in God's studio. A blank canvas to be created out of the memory of all that I will have learned and experienced in life. In the meantime, I will enjoy the creative process. And try to do justice as I study with the Master.