In the past few weeks I have dodged gunfire and felt my air supply dwindle as my failing heart filled my lungs with fluid. Fear was present, I would be inhuman if it wasn't. But stronger than my fear, was my faith. -and I was not alone.
When I was a very young child, I remember my mother telling my brother Ronnie to "look after your brother". My brother rolled his eyes, grabbed my arm and said "come on". When Ronnie died, I cried because at the young age of 4, I understood the finality of death. But I always felt his presence when I was afraid. I remember sitting with him at the top of the stairs listening to the TV (when we should have been in bed). We just sat there quietly, in the dark so we wouldn't get caught. So many times in my life I would go back there in my mind. So many times in my life I could feel his presence. This week, when my oldest brother left after spending the day ensuring I was out of danger, Ronnie sat in the chair at the end of my bed, 'looking after his brother'. The nurses that woke me every couple of hours we're surprised at how well I slept. As I contemplated having to accept a major heart condition, he watched over me. And again he took away my fear.
There are angels among us. Spirits of those who left the mortal world, but still watch out for our well being. My Mom often comes to me in dreams to reassure me that she is at peace. My Grandmothers remind me of things they have taught me by sending me flashes of things I'd long forgotten. A song comes on the radio to remind me of how long gone friends made it through difficult times.
Keeping your heart and mind in spiritual shape, can help you through any physical crisis. A strong faith brings you closer to those you love who are with you and who have gone on to their rest. Through them, you become closer to God and you can truly walk your life's journey with Christ. It is not the length of the journey that should concern us so much as the destination and what we gather along the way.
My journey has taken an unexpected turn. I will gather knowledge I had not counted on. The load gets a little heavier. But I am not alone to carry this load, for there are angels among us to help me to carry on.
